"I'm Mark from Rent. No, not Harry Potter. The straight guy in Rent. Oh. Yes I'm sure."
"Wait, this whip actually works?"
"No you can't--what are you--fine, put frosting on my forehead."
"It's fantastic to see you too. And by that I mean I treasured every minute since we last saw each other yesterday. Yes that was an insult. Yes you're drunk."
"The frosting looks stupid? How stupid?"
"No, not Harry Potter. Guy from Rent."
"Don't care if all he had to do was pay for that costume. I wanna be the marshmallow man."
"Why is it only the ugly girls that ever talk to me?"
"I'm not Harry Potter. Yeah apparently no one's ever watched Rent. Fuck the nineties."
"How does wearing a tape costume constitute being an iPod?"
"Does this frosting ever come off?"
"Does beer pong ever get exciting?"
"I'm putting the candy on my crotch 'cause that's the most action I'm gonna get tonight."
"I wish my ceiling leaked so I could talk to the girls upstairs in the shower."
"Yeah it has been too long! Of course I'd love to hang some time. No I'm not going to make a conscious effort."
"Yep. Boy who lived."
"Was he drunk or high?"
"No no, the line is 'Could talk the federation into maybe cutting them a little Slack/But their response, it didn't thrill us/They locked the doors and tried to kill us'"
"This song reminds me of that girl from the Dominican Republic vacation. Yeah, she was way hotter than you'll ever be."
"I'm not playing an imaginary game about disarming bombs in seven girl's vaginas. You're a moron."
"Should've dressed up as a retarded person."
"Maybe the girl in the black wants to get some candy."
"So claustrophobic. So... claustrophobic."
"High school party, senior year, boys and girls are all sippin' on beer, I like soda, where's the soda, am I the only fucking person here that likes soda?"
"Yeah you kill someone first, I'll go second."
"Another conversation. Another ugly girl."
"I do not wish I was wearing your costume, thanks for asking."
"Yeah, Wingardium Leviosa to you too."
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