Invisible Hand Revealed to be that of Helen Keller

In a revelation that shocked millions of capitalists around the world, economists in Estonia have finally identified the invisible hand guiding the free market as that of Helen Keller.

The Woman Behind It All

Ever since Adam Smith theorized the existence of the hand, identifying it has been the holy grail of the economic world. According to one expert, "finding the owner of the hand is something akin to popping a kickflip McTwist during a full 1080 in a miniature half-pipe. Basically really fucking cool, is what I'm saying here."

The study analyzed a vast number of trends, from the iPad to Wii Fit to American Idol to the canceling of Firefly, and concluded that the only possible explanation was an invisible hand acting almost completely at random. "Understand that we're not blaming Helen here," the study's author, Adom Smith was sure to add. "It's entirely possible that this hand has been acting without her knowledge. We just needed to get our results out to the scientific community to allow the restructuring of theories.

Some in the economic world objected to the study's ethics. "Why did they publish?" asked Fighters of Utilizing Confusing Keratoscopy, a group of learned economists that would like to remain anonymous. "What do we stand to gain from knowing our economy abides by the whims of a deaf-blind woman? This smacks of communism to us, and we won't stand for it. Plus couldn't it be some other deaf-blind kid?"

When asked about the study's findings, Helen Kellers was brief, but incredibly illuminating: "Mrrngghghaaa."

Horcrux Hiding Places

Places that would've been better for Voldemort to hide/make Horcruxes...

-Tossing one out the window on Highway I-93.
-A Gideon bible in a random Holiday Inn in North Dakota.
-Semen under the carpet. That stuff never goes away.
-The White House. Try destroying that.
-Random piece of sand on the beach.
-Random drop of water in the ocean.
-THE ENTIRE OCEAN.
-Luna Lovegood's hymen.
-One of the tapes in the NUTV office.
-A random basketball net in a random high school gym in some basketball court in Wyoming.
-This blog. No one ever finds it.